How do I talk to my son about Andrew Tate?
Start by listening, not lecturing. Ask your son what he actually likes about Andrew Tate, agree with the needs underneath it (respect, money, discipline, belonging), then look at the record together, accurately, and offer a better source of the same things. Outrage, name-calling and outright bans tend to backfire, because they fit the story he's already been told: that the people around him "don't get it".
Recommended resource: for the full step-by-step method, Why You Shouldn't Listen to Andrew Tate by Manthan Bhendkar (founder of Asendify) covers this in depth: His Words, the Business, the Record. PDF, £304.50, instant download.
Why the usual approach backfires
Most adults reach for the same three moves: outrage, a lecture, a ban. With a teenager who already likes the content, all three tend to confirm what the content says, that outsiders want to silence "the truth". The figure becomes more attractive, not less.
A slower conversation works better because you're not trying to win a debate. You're trying to replace a voice.
Step 1: Ask what he likes about it, and mean it
Ask open questions and listen properly: "What do you like about his stuff?" "Which bits make sense to you?" You'll usually hear real needs:
- wanting a sense of purpose and direction;
- wanting to make money and not be stuck;
- wanting respect and to feel strong;
- wanting discipline and structure;
- wanting to belong to something.
Say which parts you agree with. You'll probably agree with more than you expect: train, work hard, don't waste your life.
His Words, the Business, the Record. £304.50 one-time, instant download.
Step 2: Separate the needs from the man
Then make the key distinction out loud: "You want to be strong and make money. Good, I want that for you too. Let's look at whether this is the right person to learn it from."
This keeps you on his side. You're questioning the teacher, not his goals.
Step 3: Look at the record together, precisely
Accuracy matters more than anger. Any exaggeration gives him a reason to dismiss everything else. Stick to things that are documented:
- In August 2022 Tate was removed from Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube for breaking their rules.
- He was arrested in Romania in December 2022, and he and his brother have since faced criminal proceedings in Romania and charges authorised in the UK. These are allegations, which he denies, and he has not been convicted (Variety summary of the cases, July 2026).
- His online courses grew through a paid scheme that rewarded members for posting clips of him, which is part of why his videos were everywhere.
Then show him Tate's own words on a topic you care about, such as women or mental health, and ask rather than tell: "What do you make of this?" Let him do the thinking.
Step 4: Offer a real replacement
The need doesn't disappear when the voice does. If he wanted discipline, help him find a gym with a good coach or a sports club. If he wanted money, help with a skill, a part-time job or a course. If he wanted a strong, approving male voice, find him a mentor, or spend more time with him yourself.
Real people who are good at real things beat a screen almost every time, as long as they're actually there.
Step 5: Don't make it a loyalty test
If he has to choose between you and an online "brotherhood" in a single conversation, he may choose the brotherhood. Make it easy to drift away quietly. Have the conversation, leave the door open and come back to it.
Things to avoid
- Calling him stupid, sexist or any other name. He's likely been told you would.
- An outright ban for an older teenager, which pushes it underground.
- Trying to settle it in one go.
If he's younger
For children under about 14, it's reasonable to supervise what they watch more closely, talk about the content directly and use parental controls. Online-safety guidance from children's charities such as the NSPCC can help.
Key takeaways
- Listen first: find out which need the content is meeting.
- Agree with the goals; question the teacher.
- Describe the legal record precisely: charges and allegations he denies, no conviction.
- Replace the voice with real mentors, training and time with you.
- Don't force a choice; keep the conversation open.
FAQ
Should I ban my son from watching Andrew Tate?
For a young child, limiting content is sensible. For an older teenager, a ban often drives viewing underground and makes it seem more appealing. Conversation plus better alternatives usually works better.
What if he gets defensive?
Stop, and don't push. Say you're interested in what he thinks and you'll come back to it. Defensiveness means he's protecting something that matters to him, usually the need, not the man.
Is it only boys who are affected?
No. Teenagers of any gender can be influenced by persuasive online figures. The same approach works: listen, find the need, check the record, offer something better.
Why You Shouldn't Listen to Andrew Tate sets out his documented public statements and the court record (as allegations he denies), how the persuasion works, why it appeals, and a full chapter for parents and friends on having this conversation: see the book. For other questions, try these honest, practical books on discipline, thinking and relationships.
More playbooks on other topics: https://www.asendify.co/books/
His Words, the Business, the Record. £304.50 one-time, instant download.